Monday, September 10

Popular Jacks Through The Ages

Jack Parker
Cuteness Level: 10
Fun Factor: 10
Sweetness Quotient: 10
Huggability Level: 10
Smartness Score: 10
Total Score: A perfect 50


Highway Jack Knife

Cuteness Level: 0 (not at all cute actually, unless you're a lawyer)
Fun Factor: 10 -depending on how you look at it...
Sweetness Quotient: 0
Huggability Level: 0 (if you count hugging the ground afterward, then I'll give it a 1)
Smartness Score: 0
Total Score: 10

Jack Daniels Sour Mash Tennessee Whiskey
Cuteness Level: 0 (have you ever seen someone after they've drunk this junk?)
Fun Factor: 10
Sweetness Quotient: 3 (refer to cuteness level)
Huggability Level: 11 (yeah, 10 just doesn't do it justice)
Smartness Score: -10
Total Score: 14

Jack Bauer, Fox's "24"
Cuteness Level: 4 tops
Fun Factor: 10 (he does have some pretty wild times)
Sweetness Quotient: 0 (Kiefer Sutherland is neither sweet nor huggable)
Huggability Level: 0 (see above)
Smartness Score: 10 (he's a genius)
Total Score: 24 (coincidence?)

Jack White of The White Stripes
Cuteness Level: 1 (unless you're into Creepy McCreepersons)
Fun Factor: 10 (his music is good)
Sweetness Quotient: 3 (kinda lame personality)
Huggability Level: 2 (go ahead! I'm not gonna!)
Smartness Score: 10
Total Score: 26

Jack In The Box

Cuteness Level: 4 (unless you're turning the lever, then it's -4)
Fun Factor: 6 at very best
Sweetness Quotient: 1 (kinda mean really)
Huggability Level: 0
Smartness Score: 7
Total Score: 18

Captain Jack Sparrow

Cuteness Level: 10 (not according to me; I'd give him a .5)
Fun Factor: 10
Sweetness Quotient: 5
Huggability Level: -3
Smartness Score: -6

Total Score: 16

Jack Of Diamonds

Cuteness Level: 0
Fun Factor: 10 (Slap Jack is fun!)
Sweetness Quotient: 0
Huggability Level: 0
Smartness Score: 10 (depending on whether you play it or someone else does)
Total Score: 20

Jack Sprat
Cuteness Level: 0
Fun Factor: 0
Sweetness Quotient: 10 (he and his wife obvs. have an agreement on what to eat...)
Huggability Level: 2 (ehhh...)
Smartness Score: 1 (if he were avoiding carbs, I'd give him another point)
Total Score: 13

Jack And The Beanstalk

Cuteness Level: 6
Fun Factor: 10 (what a magical adventure!)
Sweetness Quotient: 10
Huggability Level: 7
Smartness Score: 0 (The kid trades a cow for magic beans then climbs a beanstalk into the clouds. Idiot!)
Total Score: 33

Airplane Hi-Jack
Cuteness Level: 0
Fun Factor: 0
Sweetness Quotient: 0
Huggability Level: 0
Smartness Score: 0
Total Score: 0 (self explanatory really)

Jack From "Lost"

Cuteness Level: 10
Fun Factor: 0 (stranded on a creepy island; not fun!)
Sweetness Quotient: 10 (pretty nice guy overall)
Huggability Level: 10 (seems huggable from what we've seen so far!)
Smartness Score: 10 (he's a doctor)
Total Score: 40 (pretty good)

Jack from the game jacks
Cuteness Level: 0 (kinda jagged)
Fun Factor: 8
Sweetness Quotient: 0
Huggability Level: 0 (ouch)
Smartness Score: 10 (you do have to have talent to pick them up)
Total Score: 18
Jack Be Nimble
Cuteness Level: 4
Fun Factor: 7 (deducting three points for level of difficulty)
Sweetness Quotient: unknown, estimated at 3
Huggability Level: that outfit puts him at 2
Smartness Score: 3 (how are you going to get noticed by jumping over a candlestick?)
Total Score: 19

Jack Skellington
Cuteness Level: 2
Fun Factor: 10 (that movie was fun)
Sweetness Quotient: 6
Huggability Level: Yikes!
Smartness Score: 6
Total Score: 24
Jack McFarland
Cuteness Level: 6 (and funny as heck)
Fun Factor: 10
Sweetness Quotient: 4 (kind of a self-centered jerk)
Huggability Level: 8 (seems huggable)
Smartness Score: 2.1
Total Score: 30.1
Jack A Lope
Cuteness Level: 2 (it's the antlers)
Fun Factor: 8
Sweetness Quotient: 7 (looks kinda Evil McPsycho)
Huggability Level: 2 (those antlers would hurt)

Smartness Score: 7
Total Score: 22

Jack Black
Cuteness Level: 4
Fun Factor: 15
Sweetness Quotient: 9
Huggability Level: 6
Smartness Score: 5 (he would have been at a 10 without "Nacho Libre"
Total Score: 39

Jack Frost

Cuteness Level: 2
Fun Factor: 10 (snow angels, sledding, ice skating...fun!)
Sweetness Quotient: 4
Huggability Level: 0 (brrr...as frigid as Ann Coulter)
Smartness Score: unknown
Total Score: 16

Jill's Brother Jack
Cuteness Level: 6 (I love coloring!)
Fun Factor: 0
Sweetness Quotient: 10 (going up the hill to fetch water? atta boy!)
Huggability Level: 5
Smartness Score: 0 ('specially AFTER he broke his crown!)

Total Score: 21

Jack Lemmon
Cuteness Level: 8 (especially since Walter Matthau is a -8)
Fun Factor: 8

Sweetness Quotient: 0 (going by "Grumpy Old Men" alone obvs.)
Huggability Level: 8
Smartness Score: 9

Total Score: 33

Jack O' Lantern
Cuteness Level: 10
Fun Factor: 10
Sweetness Quotient: 10 (when made into pumpkin pie of course)
Huggability Level: 0 (who hugs pumpkins?)
Smartness Score: 0 (no brains)
Total Score: 30


Jack Russell Terrier
Cuteness Level: 9
Fun Factor: 9
Sweetness Quotient: 10
Huggability Level: 9
Smartness Score: 10
Total Score: 47 (so close!)

"Jumpin' Jack Flash"
Cuteness Level: 2
Fun Factor: 10 (good music)
Sweetness Quotient: 2
Huggability Level: uh...can you say Keith Richards?...1
Smartness Score: 10 (not deducting for years of drug abuse obviously)
Total Score: 25Jack Kennedy (JFK)
Cuteness Level: 10
Fun Factor: 8 (he worked an awful lot)
Sweetness Quotient: 0 (cheated on Jackie with Marilyn)
Huggability Level: 10
Smartness Score: 10 (very smart man)
Total Score: 38

Scissors Jack
Cuteness Level: 0
Fun Factor: 0
Sweetness Quotient: 0
Huggability Level: 0
Smartness Score: 10 (quite handy)
Total Score: 10
Union Jack

Cuteness Level: 3
Fun Factor: 7 (Brits do have fun!)
Sweetness Quotient: 6
Huggability Level: 10
Smartness Score: 10 (I'm overcompensating them for the accents, aren't I?)
Total Score: 36

Jack Nicholson
Cuteness Level: 3 (eek); -3 in this picture
Fun Factor: 10 (Jack is a fun actor)
Sweetness Quotient: 5 (have you seen "The Shining?"
Huggability Level: 7 (ewww...)
Smartness Score: 10
Total Score: 29 at best



"Hit The Road Jack"

Cuteness Level: 8 (cute song)
Fun Factor: 10 (quite swinging actually)
Sweetness Quotient: 2 (kinda mean song really)
Huggability Level: 1 ("dontcha come back no more?" so rude!)
Smartness Score: 10
Total Score: 31

So, I think we've presented overwhelming evidence here that our Jack is the best Jack ever!

13 comments:

The Hagan Clan said...

well Jack Black is the man but your Jack totally beats him with those beautiful eyes!!!!

Peyton's Place said...

I would have to agree with Aletha on the fact that Jack Black is the man... but when it comes down to it - Jack Parker Vrbas takes the cake every time & always will. What a cutie! BTW - loved this! What a creative idea Dave.

Hugs -n- kisses!

The Lutz Family said...

You have the greatest ideas ever! LOVE IT!

The Hoskovec's said...

U R So Creative!

bec said...

ha ha! that was great!! you are so stinking creative, but you might have a little too much time on your hands. he he...just kidding! thanks for the laughs!

Anonymous said...

btw that picture of Jack Parker would be a great black mail pic when turns 16...lol I would blow that up and hang it in the house even... too cute!!!

Aletha

sixbehrs said...

I agree with you, and I've never even met your Jack :-)

sixbehrs said...

I just realized, because Sonya is eating some, that you forgot Apple Jacks. Now, that would have been a close contest....:-)

Anonymous said...

I've been running across several jacks I've missed in the past couple days, but hadn't thought of Apple Jacks! I might have to do another post of the ones I missed. I need to write these down!

Look for it next week...and I'll prove you wrong about Apple Jacks...particularly in huggability!

LOL

Dave

sixbehrs said...

Um, what about Jack the Ripper?? Now, that one should rate high on the sweetness quotient:-)

Anonymous said...

It's funny you mention that. I sat down last night after I got home from volleyball and came up with about 30 or so more very-obvious jacks that I'd forgotten.

There are a lot more of them, but I'll show you soon how my Jack has them all beat...as if there were any doubt!

Granny Janny said...

What about the cute little guy in the sailor suit with his dog.....Cracker Jack?????

sixbehrs said...

Yes, you could go on and on....I can't do that with ANY of my kids' names, so Jack must be a really cool name!!! Well, I guess Paul Bunyan, Apostle Paul (that would be a hard one to beat), Peter, Paul and Mary.....This has been one of my all-time favorite posts on ANY blog!:-)