So cold is the night air,
the snow crunches loudly under my boots;
the sidewalk ice moans
in proxy for the protests in my mind,
and the growing dread in my bones.
It’s rarely a good sign
when the phone rings at 2:00.
Four blocks seems so far,
yet, not far enough
to avoid your last ambulance ride.
The silence throbs with shock waves,
the world moves in slow motion,
when you are gone.
Under a velvet blanket
of indigo sky, I pray
fervent foxhole prayers,
interceding to the whitened light
of a million crystallite stars -
it appears heaven’s nightlight
was left on for you,
that already, celebrating
angels are welcoming you.
From love you came,
to pure Love you must return;
but, for me, I’ve never seen
an indigo night so blue.
If I'd Known Then What I Know Now
I would count each hair on your head,
And memorize each nuance of light,
Dancing on each gossamer strand.
I would store your fresh baby smell in a
Bottle for days of drought without you,
When my memory grows dim;
Future faith blinded my present with you.
If I’d known then what I know now,
Nothing could distract me from watching you
Nestle safe in my arms close to my heart,
Sweet visions skipping on your eyelids,
Sparkly diamonds in morning dew and
Pixie dust reserved just for you.
Order the mundane be silent --
No desire for caution this last day!
If I’d known then what I know now,
I would beg God for just a little more time,
For one last kiss on your velvety cheek,
One more lingering look,
One more breathtaking smile before you go,
Long enough for my solemn promise:
This is not good-bye, my love, it is,
“See you later, my little Sweetpea.”
- By Grandma Tami Vrbas -
