Saturday, February 18

The Firstborn, Part 2

When Amy was at her eighth week, my family was in town to see us for a weekend. My sister, Heidi; my niece, Tori; Ma and Pa Vrbas were all here and we were enjoying our roles as hosts for the fam.
We all went shopping on Saturday because...well, that's what we always do when people visit us. I went to Rue 21 with Tori to help her pick out stuff and Amy went to Kohl's with Heidi after hanging out in Rue 21 with us nincumpoops for a while. Plus, she had to use the restroom.
A little while later, my sister returned to Rue 21 and whispered to me that Amy was out at the car because she was bleeding. I raced outside and met Amy at the car. It was locked so she was standing at the door of the car in the department store parking lot in tears.

She had gone to the bathroom and saw the blood, went back out into the store to find my sister and couldn't find her for a while. She was bawling and could hardly see through her tears. Heidi finally spotted her, knew something was wrong and took her outside to find me.
Amy, needless to say, was inconsolable. I felt crushed too, but being Mr. Brightside, I felt hopeful that the blood was nothing at all. We raced home and grabbed all the pregnancy "manuals" to look for information about bleeding. Since it was Saturday, I called our doc, but they couldn't see us until Monday. It was the most nerve-wracking two days of our lives.
Then, as if waiting until Monday wasn't tough enough, we couldn't even get in that morning. We had to wait until the afternoon. As the doctor started the ultrasound, you could literally cut the tension with a knife. Then...a heartbeat.
A month later, though, bleeding again, but this time was different because it was right before the 13th week and we were in the thick of a very stressful situation. My sister's baby girl, one of a set of boy/girl twins, died of SIDS during the night--right before our 12th week.
I cannot even imagine that pain, losing a child. We were almost heartbroken thinking about losing a fetus, so to have a child and lose them to a senseless disease two months later? Unthinkable. Literally unthinkable. I pray we never know that pain as parents.
Anyway, the day after little Maya's funeral, Amy had spotting again. We chalked it up to stress, her usual time o' the month and all that, but we were just bundles of nerves. Do you see what I say about trying to stay un-excited for the first few months? It's a defense mechanism.
We had other scares, including one at Amy's grandparents in Des Moines during Christmas.
So, here we are at Week 21, and what's changed? Well, up to this point, I used my defense mechanism of trying not to get too excited about the baby...just in case.
A couple days ago, though, I felt the baby kick from the outside and everything changed. That, and our good friends, Melissa and Tony had their baby on Valentine's Day. It made it real for me. There is a baby in there, and in June, it'll be here in our house.
Now I'm in Daddy Mode and excited as heck for this to happen. I can barely wait for next Wednesday when we find out what it is we're having. I think boy; Amy thinks girl.
I'm fine either way, and am looking forward to being daddy to either.
That's what our first-born experience has been like.